Empathy and Abusive Relationships

It's the most empathetic of people who stay in abusive relationships and excuse bad behavior because of someone's past.  They think they can heal that person and sometimes they can.  But sometimes empathy and love are best served from a distance, not by continuing to enable active abuse.  People who habitually exploit others often step on those they believe will tolerate it.  To some abusive individuals, love, kindness, and mercy are mistaken for weakness rather than recognized as strengths.  I'm not saying walk away from every "so-called" abusive relationship because one's definition of abuse might be "he didn't take out the garbage and grumbled about it when I scolded him."  The flip side would be "she's abusive because she scolded me."  Neither is abuse.  And, sometimes there is no abuse at all except in a guilty person's mind who simply wants a reason to leave.   Other times "abuse is psychological projection" of one's own abusive behavior.  People who constantly scream hate are "sometimes" the most hateful.  People who constantly scream abuse are "sometimes" the most abusive.  People who scream "cheater" are "sometimes" times trying to protect their own fragile image.  And abuse certainly builds character, hopefully forcibly bringing one to the point of setting the clear boundary of not allowing abuse from anyone, which will help them get through life in many situations when dealing with others.  The too agreeable person evolves into a more guarded person with a healthy lack of trust (until proven trustworthy).  They eventually become strong and less friendly to the people whose motives are to use, to hurt, or even to destroy and they warm up to those who are worthy of kindness.  The goal isn't to lose empathy, but to spend it wisely. 

Humility, Confidence and Arrogance

Arrogance discourages learning. Humility encourages it. The ego substitutes a false peace as cover for unaddressed inadequacies and turbulence.

Self Betrayal

 A man who unconsciously hides from others betrays  himself.

Absolute or Relative Goodness

Absolute goodness is unattainable, so we compare goodness relatively. When we compare ourselves to others, we risk settling for mediocrity. When we compare ourselves to God, we remain humble and continue to grow.

Thick Skin & Strong Back

 Intelligence requires thick skin, and if not intelligence, a strong back.

Appreciation Evolvement

We cannot fully appreciate the good without first experiencing the bad. Metaphorically, how can we appreciate heaven without first experiencing hell?

Intelligence, Maturity and Fire Hydrants

I lose some respect for intelligent people when their insecurities cause them to mark fire hydrants like dogs.  Intelligence does not prove maturity.

Bias Education Levels

 Knowing about cognitive biases is elementary school level.  Seeing them in others is high school level.  Seeing them in ourselves is college level. Catching and correcting them in ourselves is doctorate level.

Partial Truths

 Truth is truth, but a partial truth that leads people to untruth is worse than a lie.

Silence has Costs

 In troubled times survival becomes silence with a cost.

Survival is Bribery

 Survival is the most powerful bribe.

Love Waters the Rose

 Love is the water that makes the rose bloom the longest.

Heart and Mouth

 "The heart leaks out through the mouth."

The Master's Whip

 "The master's whip stings most when you're the master."

Poe-itry

 Edgar Poe of poetry was no serf of only prose, 

instead a brow of distant skies, 

a raven of a crow disguised, 

a light shining in between the lines. 

Edgar Poe of prose he be, 

a man of worth and intelligence he, 

a warmth in cool the passion be, 

a cool in heat the breeze be he, 

the knocking of understanding, 

the waning of unawareness, 

the blessing of knowledge, 

the extremities of exploration, 

the tenderness of love. 

Edgar Poe of literacy was alive his writings be, 

they live beyond the dark grave of hearts, 

outside those limits they shan't depart, 

the colors of both the gray, the dark, the night, 

and the colors of all the roses brave, 

save the blight of time, 

Poe's words - they live another day.

Poe's words - they anchor in to stay.

Time has Constraints

The constriction of time reveals its finite qualities. Scarcity brings  acknowledgement of limits and understanding of value.

Choose Life

When young, life often chooses for us.  The choice brings luck or experience.  It is a gift to grow older and choose instead of being chosen.

Yes and No

 I can say no because I said yes too  many times.

Love is and is Not

 Some people have to learn what love is not before learning what love is.  Not everyone friendly is honorable nor everyone honorable friendly.

God Can

 In those difficult days that no one could possibly understand, God can.